Cell Phone Trouble
by ladywolfTerri
Summary: Sasuke gets a cell phone and so much more.


Sasuke Uchiha stared at the small piece of technology in his hand.

A cell phone, or more correctly, a Motorola Crzr that his brother felt they needed. It wasn't that Sasuke was against having a cell, especially since it was completely black, inside and out and the latest type out, what the raven-haired boy was against, and deathly afraid of, was his fan club getting hold of the number somehow.

He could picture it already, the hundreds of voice mails, calls at three am, detentions from calls. Yes, a nightmare, but Itachi had showed him how to block numbers first thing, so he supposed he would eventually have half the numbers in the city blocked from calling his phone.

Sasuke suddenly heard the song "You're so Foxy" by No Doubt blaring from around the corner to the next aisle.

"Hey, Kiba!" he knew that voice. "What? How should I know where Hinata is? Yeah, yeah, whatever."

His own phone began to play "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred.

He cursed his brother's twisted sense of humor while looking at the screen, cringing when he noticed it was Sakura and pressing the ignore button.

Not even a minute later he heard the No Doubt song again.

"Sakura-chan! Finally decide to go on a date with me?"

Sasuke scoffed while scrolling through the songs that had been downloaded, finally choosing "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake, it seemed the best from those Itachi had already put on the phone.

"How should I know where that teme is? I didn't even know he had a cell phone!" There was a sigh. "Fine, just give me the number."

The Uchiha cursed his luck, starting to move away when his phone rang, the pale boy automatically hitting ignore, though more by accident than design.

He was thankful though that his phone now had Naruto's number, he might have even gotten a cell sooner had he known the blond had one.

Naruto had always been broader in the shoulders than Sasuke, a heavier build and thanks to a recent growth spurt, he was now taller as well. While Sasuke was almost feminine in build, his facial features delicate, Naruto was broader, more defined and masculine. He was the moon and night, an ethereal beauty in black and white that most of the girls and even some boys swooned over, while the other was the day, an image of a sun god in Sasuke's opinion. The golden hair that seemed to almost cast it's own light, the skin with his tanned and healthy look and those eyes that constantly stole his breath, twin pools of blue so vibrant it almost hurt to look into them, stinging as it would to look up into a cloudless sky.

Sasuke jumped slightly when his phone rang again, looking at the screen and reading Naruto's name. Swallowing down his nervousness, he answered his phone.

"Hello, dobe."

"Whatever, teme. When did you get a cell phone?"

"Today."

"Why didn't you answer when Sakura called you?"

"Hn."

"That's not an answer, teme."

"Why would I want to answer, she annoys me."

Sasuke had forgotten that he was supposed to be avoiding the blond, walking through the book section of the store when the call cut off.

At first he though that Naruto might have hung up on him, but then Justin Timberlake began to sing again and he hurriedly checked the id, answering quickly.

"You hung up on me."

"No, hit a no signal area. So where are you, anyway?"

"Shopping." The calendars caught his eye, or namely a calendar of scantily clad men in various poses. "Wow."

"What is?"

"Huh?"

"Are you listening, teme?"

"No, why?"

"What are you doing?"

"Just… looking at… something."

He heard a slight snicker.

"No, more like drooling all over that calendar."

Sasuke's blood went cold as realization dawned on him, panic shooting through his veins and making him close the phone, dropping the calendar and moving through the crowds of people, hoping to be far enough away that he wouldn't see the mocking look in those blue eyes. He only prayed that Naruto hadn't seen what the calendar contained and merely thought it was women or something.

His phone went off again, making him jump and push the ignore button. That tactic worked for about twenty seconds, when his phone went off yet again.

Cursing he hit ignore, taking a relieved breath once in the electronics area, stuffing his phone in his pocket to try and cut back the noise until he could look more closely at it and find out how to turn the ringer down or off.

The Uchiha was trying to calm his breathing when…

"My, my Sasuke, firemen? You were drooling over firemen. This all makes sense now."

"Shut up, dobe." Sasuke's voice was a low growl.

"No, no, I finally get it. Always turning down all the girls at school that threw themselves at you, taking those long showers in gym, drooling over that calendar, Sas-Gay." The blond snickered at his own joke. "You were never competition for Sakura's heart cause she just doesn't do it for you."

"Will you please lower your voice, idiot, or are you trying to make this a public announcement?!"

"Relax, it's not like anyone will care that you're gay."

Thin, dark eyebrows twitched, wondering how much more of a scene would he really be causing if he killed the idiot right here.

"You know, that's probably why you walk around like you have a stick up your ass, practice!"

"Shut. Up."

But the blond just kept following him around the store, harassing Sasuke.

"You know what you need Sas-Gay?"

"Oh, please tell me."

Unfortunately for him, Naruto didn't note the dry tone of voice as the sarcasm it was.

"You need a boyfriend, someone to protect you."

That earned a dry, bitter laugh.

"As if, dobe, I kick your ass every fight."

Tan cheeks puffed out in indignation.

"Well maybe you wouldn't be such an bastard if you got laid once in awhile or knew someone had your back."

"Someone having my back?" Sasuke looked as if he was actually giving it some thought before a smirk tugged at his lips. "Someone like you? Dream on, loser."

"Hey! What's wrong with me?! I'm taller than you this year, I've been working out, I look as good as any of those guys in that calendar!" Naruto flexed his arm muscles, showing them off.

"If you've forgotten, dobe, you're straight and after Sakura."

A tan finger waggled.

"Ah-ah, that's where you're wrong," He took in the surprised look before continuing. "I'm bi. The best of all worlds."

Naruto was bi… was he kidding him? Sasuke had admitted to himself, the list of guys he would willingly date was very short, the blond being on it simply because he fascinated the raven.

"You're bi?"

"Yep." Naruto gave him that huge grin, his eyes crinkling closed from the size of it. "But I'm not easy."

"Hn, what, you expect me to pay you or something?"

Figures the dobe would expect something like that.

"No, come on, I'll show you."

Naruto then grabbed the pale hand, pulling Sasuke through the store until they reached the women's lingerie, still holding, if anything tighter, to the hand of the boy who was trying to discreetly escape.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Hold on, hold on…" The blue eyes lit up and Sasuke felt himself go even paler as a g-string was thrust in his face. "Buy this."

"And why would I buy something for you to give to some girl?"

Naruto rolled his eyes before answering.

"Because it's not for some girl, it's for you."

"Me?!" The squawk was indignant.

"Yes you, you'll buy it, if the girl at the register says anything you'll admit it's for you, then tomorrow you'll wear it to school…"

"There is no way I'll wear that!"

Naruto spoke slowly, as if to a child.

"You'll wear it to school, as soon as I see you in it, then I'm your boyfriend, and I mean see you in it, not just you telling me you wore it."

Naruto walked off, laughing to himself, leaving a shocked Uchiha Sasuke holding a woman's thong in his now numbed hands, a decision placed in his lap.

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Not for the first time that day, Sasuke was cursing Naruto's birth, hell, he was cursing his parent's births, grandparents, as far back as he could on the blond.

It wasn't that the thong was uncomfortable, he just wasn't used to his package being so, well, packaged. He felt as if he needed to adjust himself all day, and the fact that several members of his fan club came up tearfully begging him to say something wasn't true, he had actually tried to find out what, but the girls would not actually say it and ran off sobbing.

Now he was on his way to gym, the entire day almost gone, more than a few kids snickering behind his back and he hadn't seen the damned blond all day! Not even at lunch was he present.

Moving to his locker, it was hard to ignore the fact that over half the class stood there as if waiting, more joining in by the second.

"No way, you'll see."

"I told you, it's reliable."

"He's wearing it."

"No way would Uchiha do that."

He suddenly had a sinking feeling about what his fans had been crying about and what these boys were waiting to find out.

He was going to kill the dobe, that was it. How could he not have seen this, he had been set up!

Swearing under his breath while working on the lock, Sasuke debated on taking a mark for not dressing out, but then he really didn't want to wear sweaty clothes to his last class of the day either.

Peeling his shirt off and placing it in his locker was easy enough, though keeping the tremble from his hands as he reached for the button to his pants wasn't so easy. He would swear you could hear a pin drop and for once was starting to suffer from claustrophobia. Finally his zipper was down, he had no excuse not to change, so casting around his best death glare, Sasuke let his pants fall, feeling his cheeks color as various exclamations of shock broke out.

Bending over, he couldn't help but bare all, doing the best he could at holding together what little pride remained. That is until a hand slapped his ass hard enough that the sound shut everyone up, making Sasuke jump with an undignified shriek.

"Damn, Sasuke, you look good in those!"

"Dobe. I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You…."

Naruto merely grinned, throwing an arm around the fuming brunette and turning him to face the other students.

"Sorry guys, Sas-Gay here is taken." Chatter started up immediately as Naruto cupped Sasuke through the panties, his hand covering the rhinestones spelling out "Hottie" on the front. "This package rises only for the Uzumaki."

Sasuke gave another squawk at his good being so carelessly manhandled, his right butt cheek still throbbing from what he was certain was a flame red hand print adorning it.

"Naruto…"

"Yeah, babe?"

Sasuke was graced with another easy grin.

"What are you doing?"

"Just letting everyone know who your boyfriend is."

That's when it clicked, he wasn't the butt of some horrible joke, well, he was, but Naruto planned to go through with it.

"Then get your hand off my crotch before I break your arm."

Naruto seemed to realize suddenly what he had been holding and let go, grinning sheepishly.

The sound of their coach coming had everyone moving once more, but Sasuke promised himself while he watched the tanned boy move to his own locker. Oh, he would have his revenge, oh yes, Uzumaki would indeed pay.


End file.
